Does it ever get any easier?

It would not be a good day if the history of my Google searches was to ever be released to the public.  I tend to ask Google some interesting questions.  The other day I actually asked Google if running ever got any easier and the responses I got were encouraging.  Many of the articles that popped up stated, “Absolutely it will get easier!  Just keep going!”  Helpful, right?

Not really.  Even though the “experts” were telling me that running gets easier, I’m inclined to disagree with them. Sure, I’m not the most dedicated nor consistent runner, but I believe that I’ve run enough to be able to answer this question;

No, it doesn’t get any easier.  In fact, it gets harder.

Now before you go all, “stop being so negative Jennifer”, let me explain.  The running itself never changes. It gets harder because you place more responsibility and expectation on yourself.  You increase your mileage or your speed; you decide to take on bigger hills or interval running; that previous thought that a half-marathon would never be possible is now actually something that seems achievable.  What’s easy is giving up.  What’s easy is thinking, “Man, I’m so comfortable in my pajamas and it looks so hot outside, so I’m just going to stay here.”

I’m a little over a month into my half-marathon training journey and I’ve found it to be one of the most difficult things I’ve done for several reasons;

•           The schedule – Consistency is the king of training and following a set schedule is imperative.  It’s amazing how quickly you lose your ability to run just by missing a couple of your training days.  Anyone who has worked in student affairs knows that we don’t have a normal schedule, so trying to maintain a training schedule with my work schedule has been incredibly challenging. And the longer the long-runs get, the more time you have to dedicate to that run on that scheduled day.  My social calendar is now starting to revolve around my running schedule in my attempt to try and make sure I get the long run in (and that I made good choices the night before).  And thankfully the weather is starting to cool because having to get up at 7:00am on a Saturday to try and get the run in before the temperature heats up just flat out blows.  I'm jealous of the morning people who can get up at 5:00am and get their run in first thing.  I've tried to be that person.  Never gonna happen.
•        The diet – When I starting thinking about training I read a lot about how people would complain about gaining weight during training and that was mostly because the increased activity and mileage made people hungrier and they justified eating certain things with the increased mileage.  Those that know me know that’s the last thing in the world that I want, so I’ve been trying to be very diligent with my diet and eating things that will both fill me up and fuel me for runs.  Definitely a lot harder than you'd think. 
•       Balancing speed & distance:  As I run more often and more consistently, I have found myself being able run faster and longer.  However, those don’t go together very well.  The faster my pace, the shorter distance I can go.  And the longer I go, the slower pace I go.  I’m not doing this for a specific finish time, but it can be incredibly disheartening to look down and see that you’re actually decreasing in your pace time, no matter how often you tell yourself that time doesn’t matter, it’s the finishing that counts.

But here’s some good news.

No, it doesn’t get any easier, but you get stronger.

Physically and mentally you get stronger, but it’s been the mental strength that keeps me going.  When my legs are physically tired, it’s my mental strength that tells me, “it’s okay to walk for just a minute, but then you need to get running again”.  It’s my mental strength that says, “Yes, it sucks to go home after a 12-hour day and have to fit a run in, but you have to do it”.  Poor food choices will always be there, but by flexing my “willpower muscle”, I remind myself of why I need to make the better choice. 

Running is never going to get any easier, but I will continue to get stronger and that’s what matters in the end.

Inspiration after a Tough Run

Friday night I got the wonderful fortune of a surprise visit from my friend Mindy who was in town to run an 18-mile race in Oak Ridge.  Sitting there at dinner and talking with her, I was reminded of all of the people that I've known over the years who have sworn they would never run a 5k, let alone anything further than that.  Yet now, years later, they are out there kicking butt and taking names.

The past two weeks have been super tough with my training.  Recruitment kicked my butt and threw me way off my training schedule.  Every year I always think that it's going to be different, that I'm going to eat healthy and still get my workouts in, but then the first sleepless night happens and all the sudden the only thing that keeps me awake and going is eating all the junk food that's around and counting down the minutes until I can take a nap.

I went for my first post-recruitment run the other day and it was the text book definition of a bad run. I couldn't even make it half a mile before I needed to stop and walk.  My legs felt like lead, I was getting stitches in my side, and I was having a difficult time breathing.  I tried all the tricks I knew - deep breathing in through my nose and out my mouth, speeding up for a minute to make the slower pace seem easier, correcting my posture, everything.  None of it worked.  Every half mile or so I would have to walk.  I finally stopped after 2 miles and lost it.  Started crying, having all kinds of anxiety and worry.  How in the world was I going to be able to run 13 miles if I couldn't even get past 1?

Then dinner with Mindy reminded me that we all have to start somewhere and we all have ups and downs throughout the training process.  We all have bad runs and we all have times when we doubt ourselves and our ability to keep going when it gets hard.  But being able to come back from those bad runs and those hard times are the times that we show ourselves our worth and prove to ourselves that we are more than just one bad run.  Today's run, while still tough, was 10 times better.  So this post goes out to all my peeps who keep going despite the bad runs, especially those that once claimed they would never even consider being a runner.  Funny how times change, right?

Fundraising Update: I'm almost halfway to my goal!  My short term goal is to hit that 50% by October, so keep donating!  Every little bit helps!  https://www.raceplanner.com/donate/Jennifer-s-on-the-Run

My Half-Marathon Decision

I was talking on the phone with my good friend Lauren the other night and she made the comment to me about how she remembered me once saying that I would never do a half marathon, that I had no desire to do anything past a 5K.

The moment I realized that I could complete a half marathon, and actually wanted to try, was this past March.  My boyfriend was running in the annual Knoxville marathon and I was also running that same day in the 5K.  Being that it takes like a 1/6th of the time for me to finish the 5K compared to his marathon, I had some time to do some sitting, reflecting, and watching.  Maybe it was the fact that I had just completed my fastest 5K, or maybe it was the rush of adrenaline combined with the Starbucks coffee I picked up after the race, but as I sat in Neyland Stadium waiting for him to cross the finish line, I found myself drawn to the people finishing the other races.  I watched people of all shapes, sizes, and ages complete the half marathon and they looked so excited, so proud of themselves.  And as I sat there watching them and reflecting on all of the things that I have accomplished, I knew that completing a half marathon was something that wasn't completely out of my league like I had always thought.  I had always envisioned people that ran half and full marathons as your typical runner - tall, lean, thin.  But some of these people crossing the finish line didn't look like that.  They looked like me.  Some older, some shorter, some heavier, some thinner.  I think that's what I appreciate about running.  It doesn't have anything to do with other people.  It's all about you.  It's all about finishing something that once seemed so impossible.

Wearing glasses becomes a safety hazard when running in the rain!

Trust me, completing this half marathon still seems so far away.  Even though it's not until February, I've already started training.  I wanted to give myself plenty of time and allow some additional weeks as padding in case life got crazy (such as UT recruitment week!) and threw me off my training schedule.  I've completed two weeks, and so far it's going as well as can be expected.  For my long runs, I'm using the run/walk method.  For anyone that's interested, Disney has free training plans describing the run/walk method by Jeff Galloway here.  It was definitely different.  I find myself going a much faster pace than normal during the running intervals, so by the 2 mile mark I start to get pretty tired.  Learning to pace myself with the intervals will be something I need to focus on during this training.  And how you people that run 9 minute miles for long distances do it, I'll never know.  But it was pretty fun to look down and see that I was going that fast, even if it was just for 2 minutes.

I'm looking forward to the next couple weeks as I increase my mileage.  I've previously done an 8K (which is 5 miles), but that's the furthest I've gone.  I've signed up for a 10K (6.2 miles) in Nashville on Halloween and that will be a good halfway point to make sure that I'm where I should be in terms of training for 13.1 miles.

Thank you so much to those that have already donated to my fundraiser and are supporting me with this race.  I'm so amazed at how quickly people jumped on board.  People I haven't spoken to in years have been contacting me and donating to the cause.  I appreciate it all.  I hope to meet half of my goal by October, so don't stop contributing, as every little bit helps!  Jennifer's on the Run Fundraiser

Happy Running!

This Girl's on the Run

I hate running.  Let me rephrase that - Running as an exercise is not my first choice.  I've found that I enjoy participating in fitness classes much more.  Running, however, saved my life.  It was the decision to do a 5k four years and 150 pounds ago that made me start becoming physically active and gain the confidence and the motivation to try other things and may have literally saved my life.

I recently made two big decisions.  One, was to sign up for the Disney Princess Half Marathon and the other was to join the Board of Directors for Girls on the Run of Greater Knoxville.  Both decisions have already profoundly impacted my life.  I've taken on lots of various volunteer roles in my life, but in the short time that I've been involved with Girls on the Run, I can honestly say that I've never been as excited and as passionate about supporting and being a part of something as I am with this program.

If you don't know what Girls on the Run is, here's a brief overview.  Girls on the Run is an international program that is a transformational physical activity based youth development program for girls in the 3rd-8th grades.  It teaches life skills through dynamic interactive lessons and runnings games.  The program culminates with the girls being physically and emotionally prepared to complete a celebratory 5k running event.  The goal of the program is to unleash confidence through accomplishment while establishing a lifetime appreciation of health and fitness.  You can learn more about the programs offered by visiting http://www.gotrknoxville.org/ or http://www.girlsontherun.org/. 

As I prepare for this first half marathon, I will be updating everyone on my progress and giving everyone more information about why it's so important to support and advocate for programs such as these.  I hope that all of my friends and family will both emotionally and financially (as much as you are able) support me in this endeavor.  My minimum fundraising goal is $500, but in trying to be punny, I would love to be able to raise $1,310.00 in honor of the 13.1 miles that I will be completing.

To donate, please visit www.raceplanner.com/donate/Jennifer-s-on-the-Run. I'm the first person to understand that money can be tight, so even a donation of $5 is so much appreciated.  Thank you all so much for allowing me to share this program with you all and I hope you look forward to hearing all about my journey!

What Happens After a 150lb Weight Loss

So it's been a few months since I hit the huge milestone of losing a 150 pounds.  And many people have been interested in what's happened since then.

Well, to be honest, what happened was that I gained some back.  Mind you, it wasn't a lot.  Nothing that would be noticeable, especially after such a large loss.  But enough that I began to lose motivation and became frustrated with my lack of willpower to maintain the level of healthiness that I had adopted.

So why did this happen?  I figure several things.  After hitting that milestone, I felt like maybe I could relax for a little bit.  It's damn hard having to constantly be thinking about what you are eating and trying to fit routine workouts into an already busy schedule.  I wanted to let go, have some fun, and not have to constantly be worrying about making healthy choices.  And jeez are those cheese fries tempting and yummy.

Two, I made some big life changes shortly thereafter.  I left my job and moved down to Knoxville, TN to start a new job and to begin a new part of my life in a new city.  And it's been wonderful.  I absolutely love my new job, institution, and city.  But being in a new place means that all of the routines and support factors that I had set up were no longer there.  Trying to meet new people and make new friends meant that I was foregoing working out to go to happy hour after work with colleagues or not eating at home in order to go out to lunch or dinner with a new friend.  In Indiana, I had a good work out plan and was able to schedule the rest of my life around that.  Being in a new job and in a new city, I didn't have that same level of routine because I was spending more time at work trying to learn and build relationships with students and colleagues, I was spending more time being social because I was trying to make new friends and build new support systems.  There were many days that I would plan on going to a class, but a meeting would go over, or someone would invite me out, and then all the sudden that plan of working out would go out the window.  And the food and beer - don't even get me started.  One of the things that I disliked most about living in Muncie was the lack of local restaurants and good craft beer.  Here, it's the exact opposite.  There are so many wonderful places and things to try, and I've loved pretty much everything that I've tried.

The biggest surprise was how quickly weight came back on.  You'd think that if it takes a month to lose 3 pounds, it would take that same amount of time to put 3 pounds on.  If only.  I did a little research into why people who lose weight seem to so quickly gain it back and ran across some interesting information.  As anyone who has done any research on weight loss will know, our bodies are conditioned to hold on to fat in order to protect and feed us when food may not be as readily accessible. When you alter your diet, like eating less, your body thinks that food may be scarce, so it starts holding onto fat which is why so many people may actually gain weight when they start eating healthier.  Overtime, your body adjusts and it begins to let go of that extra fat, which is why it's important to continue eating differently even if you don't lose weight at first.

But what surprised me is that through my research and quest for answers as to why weight gain occurred so quickly, was that our bodies are naturally designed to work against us in this aspect.  The New York Times wrote a great article about it here.  By eating healthy and exercising, I've essentially significantly altered and reduced specific hormone levels and my metabolism.  At my higher weight, my metabolism actually worked faster than it does now and I was actually less hungry.  Go figure.  No wonder we have such an issue with yo-yo dieting.  But just like with anything, knowledge is power, so knowing that this is happening, I can be more intentional and aware of what I'm doing.

So until they find a miracle drug to help with this issue, for now I'll continue to fight the good fight.  Trying to find a healthy and happy balance between eating at home and eating out, not always having that drink when I go out, and trying (and often failing) at passing up the chocolate chip cookies.  I've also joined 2 gyms, the local YMCA as well as the fitness center on campus, to give me the most access to classes I'm interested in and I've also agreed to participate in 3 different 5K's over the next three months.  I've also tried to be pretty open with people here about my journey.  That hasn't been easy because I've had to be vulnerable about letting people know of my struggle, but so far I've only been been greeted with support and admiration.  That support and understanding is oftentimes the only thing that keeps you going.  That and the desire to want to wear cute clothes.

Top Left: Staff Picture 2011; Top Right: Staff Picture 2013
Bottom: Staff Picture 2014

3 Years and 150 Pounds

So yes, you're reading that correctly.  I have lost 150 pounds over the past 3 years.  If you've known me for that period of time, it's pretty obvious.  I tried to not make it a big deal when I first started because my weight has always been (and will most likely continue to be) a sensitive and private issue for me.  However when I started hitting milestones (75, 100lbs), it started to become obvious to people.  Let's be honest, it's hard to ignore the fact that I've lost an average size human being from my frame.

So why if weight is such a sensitive and private issue for me, am I writing this blog and sharing it with people? There are several reasons.  1) Losing this much weight is more than just a physical change.  It's emotional, mental, all the above. I'm very much a processor - both internally and externally.  I like to think about things, talk about things, and obviously write about things.  2) There are so many people that have served as inspiration and motivation along the way and I need to thank them publicly, and 3) I continue to get the questions of "What are you doing?" or "How did you lose all of that?"  So here are all the answers to your questions.  You'll probably learn a lot about me that you don't really need to know, so just accept that fact if you're taking the time to read this.

I've thought a lot about how I wanted to start this blog.... do I make it funny? Do I just throw in the magical answer?  Ultimately, I thought it best to start at the moment I decided a change needed to happen.  I could start at the beginning, but then this would be more of a book rather than a blog post.  So to keep it short and sweet, here's a ten second history of 1981-2011.  I've always been overweight - this wasn't something that I just packed on in college.  Every elementary school photo, I was the chubby one.  I was teased and taunted, made fun of by strangers and people I called my friends.  Middle school was a traumatic time for me (just ask my parents and the multiple counselors I've seen over the years) and high school not much better.  I can still remember specific people and the things they said.  I don't know if that's ever going to be something that I can let go. But for a long time, I let that control my life and I continued to make excuses as to why I continued to pack on the pounds.  Over the years there were several times that I "attempted" to lose weight.  Mostly that means that I would have this great epiphany that I was going to start eating right and exercising that would last for a day, at best.

Then in spring 2011, things changed.  The moment seems like it was yesterday.  I was sitting in the Dripolator coffee house talking to my friend Jenni about how I had just gone to the doctor and she was throwing out the word diabetes.  Poor me, now I was going to have to start taking medication and checking my blood sugar.  And then Jenni said the words to me that everyone else was too scared to say.  She told me that I was killing myself and that I knew it and was doing nothing to stop it.  She then told me that she wasn't going to sit there and watch me kill myself and that if I was going to do that, then she couldn't be my friend anymore.  I was pissed.  Livid.  I moved away from Asheville to Muncie, Indiana a week later so upset that someone that I thought of as one of my best friends wasn't supporting me.  I blamed her, saying that I had supported her through some of her darkest times, why couldn't she do the same for me?  Then the light bulb moment happened and I knew I had to take responsibility and make some changes.  Jenni, I can't thank you enough for saying what you said to me.  Without that, I don't know if I would have ever changed.  I know I've told you this story before and that you can't even remember that conversation, but I think about it all the time.  It's what motivates me to keep going, knowing that people out there do love and care about me enough to stand up to me and tell me what I need to hear.  That's why this post is dedicated to you and I will forever be thankful.

(Left) At highest weight, grad school graduation, May 2011
(Right) Easter 2014

That's the biggest thing I can tell someone who wants to lose weight.  You have to find that one reason that finally makes sense, that finally grasps that part of you.  It's going to be different for everyone.  I don't know how many health complications I had, how many times I cried about my weight, how many times I missed out on opportunities because I was too big.  For some reason, none of those things were monumental enough for me to accept my reality.  For me, it took a friend sitting down and being honest with me and knowing that I could potentially lose something that I cared so much about.

So as to how I did it..... sadly, there is no big secret.  There's not some miracle drug, diet, or exercise that got me to this point.  The biggest things were persistence, dedication, and resiliency.  Yes, I do follow Weight Watchers.  My friends know that as soon as I eat, I pull out my phone and track it.  They know that sometimes I make food decisions based on points and that I'll often say, "Oh, I can totally eat that because I have some left over activity points."  For me, WW has worked.  No, I don't go to the meetings, I just use the app on my cell phone and to be honest, I don't weigh and measure things like I'm supposed to.  I guesstimate a lot.  I'm not going to sit here and sell WW as a product because I know it may not work for everyone, it just so happened to stick for me this time.  I know other people who have lost a lot of weight by completely overhauling what they eat and being very strict on themselves about how many calories they take in or cutting out complete food groups such as meat, carbohydrates, sugar, etc.  I knew going into this that wasn't going to work for me.  I'm forever going to be that girl that loves pizza, beer, and chocolate chip cookies.  As much as I wanted to give up being morbidly obese, I wasn't willing to give up the foods I love.  And thankfully I haven't had to.  I've had to make better choices when it comes to those foods, certainly, but I still get to enjoy them.  And while I do make much better choices when it comes to the types of foods that I eat, I haven't gone all health food crazy.  Yes, I eat more fruit and vegetables and I've made a smoothie from time to time, and I've discovered new foods that I enjoy like quinoa, brussel sprouts, and greek yogurt, but trust me, I still enjoy nachos and buffalo wings and occasionally still like to stop by Taco Bell or order Chinese.

Food is one of the biggest things I have had to deal with emotionally and mentally.  Food and eating has always been a big issue.  It was my comforter when I was sad, lonely, or frustrated.  That doesn't magically change when you lose weight.  Just the other day I sent a friend of mine a text message saying I wanted to eat a shit ton of pizza and beer.  But what has changed is my ability to talk myself out of it.  To make smarter decisions.  Thankfully, I talked myself out of eating all of that pizza and beer.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  But I've realized that I have to be kind to myself when it doesn't work, and that just because I may eat pizza or a burger or a blueberry donut, doesn't mean that all of the sudden all of my hard work is ruined.  It means I indulged, and that's okay, and that the next time I eat I have the option to make a healthier choice.  Yes, I talk and think about food a lot.  I apologize to those who have to listen to me while I figure what I want to eat sometimes.  But the reality is, it's always going to be that way for me.  Every day I'm going to have to set goals and make choices.  As time goes on, it gets a little easier and becomes a little bit more natural, but I believe it's always going to be there.

As for exercise, it's very much a love/hate relationship.  I started out simply walking.  I could barely walk a mile without sweating, hurting, and wanting to punch someone in the face.  But over time, it got easier.  And I walked further and faster.  I did work with a personal trainer for a short period of time, and she was the one who encouraged me to attend group fitness classes.  Through those classes, I've found a place where I'm comfortable pushing myself.  Depending on my schedule, I've done everything from step aerobics, to cycling, to tabata, and I've even completed "running" a few 5Ks.  I'm lucky to have had some great friends who have taken on some of these classes with me.  And as much as I resisted adding strength training into my exercise routine, I have seen a huge difference because of it.  But here's the thing I want to tell people, because it took me a long time to figure it out for myself - exercise is not the miracle cure-all.  You can exercise and work out all you want, but if you're eating crap, or restricting yourself and not eating enough, it's not going to do anything.  And sadly, yes, I have completely given up soda, juice, etc., and drink very little alcohol.  That's big sacrifice for me because most of my friends know how much I absolutely love craft micro-brews, but it has helped.  Now, I just save my beer drinking for when I have the chance to get a good beer, and not some of the beer around here that's really more like water.

I had no idea that when I posted that picture this morning that it would receive the kind of response that it did.  People I haven't heard from in years were texting me, sending me messages, and wishing me congratulations.  Thank you for that.  That's the reason for this post.  Lots of people were asking me how and why, so this was the easiest way I felt I could respond to everyone.  What keeps me motivated?  To be completely and 100% absolutely honest, it's the little things: being able to walk into any clothing store I want to and buy clothes, to not have to worry about being the fat person people don't want to get stuck sitting next to on a plane, to not work up a sweat simply walking down the street, to be able to wear high heels all day and not want to chop my feet off (yes, that's totally gotten better!), to not miss out on opportunities with friends such as hiking, white water rafting, etc., but mostly, my motivation now comes from wanting to take care of and treat myself better and to not have my friends and family worried about what was going to happen to me and my health.  I'm not done, by any means, and to be truthful, I don't think I'll ever be done.  I think this is something that I'll battle for the rest of my life.  But I'm thankful to know that the outcome is in my control and I have the power to make those decisions and that I have some pretty awesome people to help me along the way.

I do want to give some special shout-outs:  To the parentals - I definitely wouldn't have made it this far without your support; everything from purchasing me more personal training sessions to buying me new clothes when I couldn't wear anything I had anymore (by the way, we are kind of at that point again, :) ), from stocking the kitchen with healthier food whenever I visit, to listening to me complain when I was at a standstill.  I thank you and love you guys more than I can say in this post.

To my friends that have worked out with me, indulged in pizza with me, cried and laughed with me - knowing that I'm lucky enough to have such great people in my life is what has made my determination possible.  I'm going to try to mention all of you, but if I miss someone, know that you made a difference too!  Kristin, Marissa, Kandria, Rebecca, Maureen, Lauren, Beth, Hannah, Alicia, Holly, Stephanie, Stacey, Melissa, and many others - Thank You.

And of course, Jenni.  You helped me change my life.  Love you!

I AM (*not was) in a Sorority

People often ask me why I am still involved with my sorority.  My response is to look at them questionably and ask why not?  Some of them are the same people who often say, "When I was in a sorority," or "I was an XYZ back when I was in college."

This infuriates me.

Simply put, when I joined my organization, I took a pledge and made an oath that said I would be a part of that organization for a lifetime.  I promised that I would uphold the expectations of membership, many of which directly impact my involvement as an alumna member.  Why so many choose to ignore that oath of the organization that they so desperately wanted to be a member of at the time, I don't know.

But what I do know is that they are missing out. 

To be completely honest, my experience as an alumna member of Gamma Phi Beta has been one of the most impactful, meaningful, and transformative experiences of my life.  While I certainly had some fun times as a collegiate member, my few years as an active chapter member don't hold a candle to my time as an alumna member.  It saddens me that so many become so far removed from their organization after graduation.  Sure, life changes.  We move on, we get married, we have children, we have to become adults with a full-time job, but that doesn't mean that there's no room left for your organization.

I started out as one of those people.  After graduation, I needed a break.  I needed to step away.  I'm not going to lie and say that my college years were the best, because they weren't.  I talk to maybe 2 people that were my chapter sisters in college.  But after my 3 year break, I knew that I missed the organization itself.  Maybe not those specific people (my sincerest apologies for any chapter sisters reading this - it's not personal, trust me), but what Gamma Phi Beta represented and meant to me.

So I went back and stepped in to serve as a Chapter Advisor.  And it was the single most important decision of my life up until this point.  I completely changed my career and life focus after taking on this volunteer role.  Before, I was dead set on getting my Masters in Social Work and continuing to serve in some sort of non-profit, counseling capacity.  Then I fell in love with advising, with student affairs, and with continuing to advance our Greek organizations.  It wasn't an immediate transformation.  I learned a lot in the first couple of years serving as a young collegiate advisor.  But it no doubt taught me so many skills and abilities that helped me to get to where I am today.

If you took a look at who I was as a person in high school and even in college, you would see a much different person than I am now.  And I can safely say those changes are due to my involvment in Gamma Phi Beta.  I have gained confidence, the ability to have conversations with pretty much anyone, the ability to present in a front of a large audience (and actually enjoy doing it), the desire to be a better person and to display my values to those who come into contact with me on a daily basis.  I am much more upbeat, outgoing, cheerful, and insightful than I was even a couple of years ago.  I now can acknowledge that I'm a leader.  And it's all because I found my calling in life and an organization that supports that. 

Being a member of a Greek organization defines who I am.  Let me explain - so many people define themselves as being a part of something; a runner, a swimmer, an athlete, a dancer, a musician.  Me?  I am a Sorority Woman.  I am a member of Gamma Phi Beta.  And I'm proud of it.  When my current supervisor first met me, he called me a "Greek nerd" because my tire cover on the back of my car says Gamma Phi Beta in bright, hot pink letters.  You know what?  I LOVE being a Greek nerd.  Nothing wrong about that.  People think it's weird to wear letters or other Greek related paraphenalia after graduation.  I think they are crazy.  I'm going to continue to do it well into my 70s and 80s when I show up to Gamma Phi Beta Confirmed Conventioneers Dinner at Convention and rock out my 20-some carnations on whatever hat I'm given.

So to those that wonder why I'm still so heavily involved, I want to reiterate again how much being a part of this organization has changed my life.  I have met so many women throughout my years as an alumna volunteer that continue to motivate and inspire me, women who serve as role models and mentors, and women who continue to daily remind me what it means to be a Gamma Phi Beta.  I can only hope that by sharing my story, that someone out there is inspired to get reconnected.  Take at least that baby step of updating your contact information with the national organization, maybe even pay your alumnae dues.  You don't have to become the Chapter Advisor or give hundreds of dollars to the organization to still maintain that meaningful connection.  And I would be willing to put money down on it, that the benefits you will receive from that reconnection are well worth any time, money, or effort that you put into it. 

To all of my sisters, thank you.  To all of my interfraternal colleagues, mentors, and friends, thank you.  What you are doing truly is relevant and impactful.