Lessons Learned from a Week in Myobene, Senegal

One of the hardest things to deal with after returning from a trip like the one I just had to Senegal is knowing how to respond to the question of "how was your trip?"  As American culture dictates, this question is usually one that comes from a person's desire to want to exchange brief pleasantries with each other and they are not usually prepared to take the time to actually listen about the trip.  This leads the person answering (me in this case) to try and sum up the experience in three minutes or less so as to not 'inconvenience' the other person with a long story, which leads to cutting out much of what makes experiences like these so important.  Plus, recounting the same experiences over and over again can be simply exhausting, mentally and emotionally.  So as much for my sake as for yours, here is my extended answer to the "how was your trip" question.

There is no one emotion that comes to mind when I think about the seven days that I spent in Mboyene, Senegal.  Actually, all of the emotions were there at some point, often intertwining and mingling with others.  There was joy and sadness, inspiration and frustration, humbleness and gratefulness.  Taking a trip where you are completely forced out of your bubble and comfort zone is both incredibly eye-opening, yet also maddeningly difficult.  It's hard to know where to start when attempting to share all of these moments with those that were not there to experience it, yet for that exact reason, I know that it is my responsibility to share with those same people the lessons that I learned.

This being the second time that I have had the opportunity to visit Africa, several people have already asked how Senegal was different than Malawi.  Short answer is, it's a completely different country on the opposite side of the continent.  That would be like trying to answer how the United States and Mexico are different because they are both countries in North America.  They have just as many similarities as they do differences, so there's no one easy way to answer that.  I can, however, tell you that some of the assumptions that I had about Senegal ended up being correct, but just as many ended up being completely wrong.

Upon arriving in Dakar, we started our adventure staying the night at Hotel Marrakis in Mbour which sits literally right on the ocean.  We didn't get to see the ocean until the next morning since we had arrived at the hotel pretty late in the evening of our arrival.

Ocean view directly in front of Hotel Marrakis.

The first thing that I noticed was the trash.  As you may be able to tell from the picture, there was trash everywhere you looked.  On the beach, by the side of the road, sitting in large piles in front of people's homes - it was simply everywhere.  I've never been the kind of person who enjoys cleaning, but I had this overwhelming feeling of wanting to grab some gloves and a trash bag and just go to town.  The concept of "cleanliness" would return numerous times throughout the week, each time making me wonder, where did this feeling of "dirty is wrong, clean is right" come from?  So many times I wondered why they simply just didn't pick up the trash - I probably should have just asked the question instead of attempting to come to my own conclusions.

Members of the UTK Panhellenic Trek Team on the beach.

The sand that you see on the beach didn't stay at the beach - it followed us everywhere we went.  The entire terrain of our community was sand - there was no grass, no pavement or concrete, no rocks or pebbles, just straight up sand.  By the time we reached the community of Mboyene, we were at least 3 hours away from the beach, yet every step we took felt like those walks that you take through the powdery sand on vacation - a great workout for our calf muscles!  The dirt and dust was everywhere and from the moment we got there to the moment we left, I never truly felt 'clean'.  As soon as you would rinse off or wipe the dirt from your hands or feet, you were instantly covered again.  During the day on the worksite and interacting with community members during the cultural workshops I didn't even notice it, but as soon as I would return to our family's compound at night and empty the enormous amount of sand out of my shoes, I was desperate to feel clean.  Getting into bed each night knowing that despite my best attempts, there was still sand all over my feet was incredibly hard.  These feelings really put into perspective what we in America classify as being 'clean' and also make me feel incredibly grateful for the ability that we have to keep ourselves and our homes sand free.

My dancing skills at their best.

Entering the village of Mboyene for the Welcome Ceremony was a very special time.  It was hard for me to feel overly excited because I instantly was comparing it to the Welcome Ceremony in Malawi, which being that it was my first time experiencing Trek, is a truly special memory for me.  However being able to sit back and watch the student members of the Trek team have this experience for the first time was equally as special.  This time, I felt like I could watch and focus more on others than simply focusing on myself being that I had already been a Trek participant and knew a little more of what to expect.  I loved being able to see the students' joy and excitement and watch them as they were challenged and grew throughout the week.

Trek members dancing during Welcome Ceremony.

One of the absolute hardest parts about going on Trek is being opened up to so many new things and having the opportunity to see the "bigger picture" and then having to come home and deal with all of the "petty" stuff.  I made the mistake of turning on my email as soon as we had Wifi access in the Paris airport and immediately became angry and frustrated at some of the communication I had received while gone.  My immediate thoughts were, "don't these people get that this doesn't matter?!"  It's hard - my priorities and what I feel is "important" shifts during these experiences and I want to shake the people that don't see the bigger picture.  But I also know that those thoughts aren't exactly fair - they didn't experience Trek and what they perceive as "important" is a priority for them, just not for me at this current time.  It's difficult to try and navigate those feelings because I still do have a job to do and do need to respond to the little things.  But it's also my job to help people see why sometimes priorities need to shift and we need to spend a little less time worrying about the small things and a little more time focusing on the big things.

Trek and community members sign the Covenant.

During the Welcome Ceremony, members of the community and the Trek team sign a Covenant for buildOn.  The Covenant is an agreement between the members of the community and buildOn that we will all uphold certain expectations.  While skilled laborers from Senegal are hired and paid to do majority of the work on the school build, a certain amount of community volunteers are required to participate and to be invested in this process.  If the community volunteers don't show up, the school build does not progress.  There is also an agreement that an equal number of girls will be enrolled in the school as boys, making sure that the girls in the community have just as equal access to education as the boys.

Students hanging out in one of the two classrooms.

What's fun about this specific school build is that it is not this community's first.  In 2016, buildOn helped them to complete their first school build.  The past two years have seen a huge increase in school attendance and the classrooms quickly reached their capacity.  Two teachers daily instruct over 150 students, trying to navigate having multiple grades within the same classroom at the same time.  The community, now having direct experience with the importance of education, applied again to buildOn and because of the success they have had, was accepted for a second time for a classroom extension.  We had the opportunity to visit with students and one of the teachers one day and to say that they are thrilled to be receiving a second classroom building is an understatement.  

Trek members read a book with students

Promoting access to education, particularly for women and girls, and working with communities to remove barriers to education is the primary point of this Trek.  We, the Trek members, don't technically "build a school" during the few days we are there.  Together, with our financial gifts we are able to give, combined with the skilled knowledge of community laborers and the support and guidance from in-country buildOn staff and the countless volunteer hours from community members, we are able to build a school.  Together being the most important word.  

With two of our host sisters Rosalee and Kristin.

Each of us had the pleasure of living with a host family over the week.  I had the absolute fortune of living with Katie, our Circle of Sisterhood liaison for the week, and Sadio, who was one of our translators.  We really lucked out with having Sadio with us because we were able to have much more in depth conversations with our family during our down time.  While many of the other host families had several younger children and babies in their family, our brothers and sisters were all a little bit older.  Much of the time was spent with the four older teenage girls, which I absolutely loved.  Out of the four, three want to become doctors and one wants to become a fashion designer - which I could totally tell because of the outfits that she wore each day!  We talked with them several times about what kind of education that we had and what types of work that we did.  One of the primary questions that each of us was asked multiple times was whether we were married and had kids.  Out of the 17 females that made up our Trek group (with our buildOn counterparts included) not a single one of us was married or had kids.  The fact that I was 36 and had neither made me kind of feel like a unicorn in their eyes - something you imagine exists, but have never actually seen.  Women not getting married at the age of 16 (or at times even younger), is simply not part of how they live.  However when they asked me why I had chosen to not get married before now, I truly believe that they understood and respected my answers and did not pass judgement on those decisions.

My host brother, Bernard.

One of the most special people that I met in Mboyene was one of my host brothers, Bernard.  At first glance, Bernard shows the physical signs of Down Syndrome or another potential disability.  I asked about Bernard and was told that within the community, they didn't have official diagnoses like Down Syndrome and did not have any access to resources that would support Bernard is his education and everyday skill building.  When Bernard was little, his family attempted to put him into school, however his ability to keep up with the rest of the class and the teacher's ability to provide him with the necessary resources and support proved to be too challenging.  I immediately fell in love with Bernard.  His constant smile, his genuine heart, and his carefree attitude never failed to lift my spirits and made me genuinely excited to see him each day.  The love that his family showed to him was incredible and I have no doubt that despite the challenges that present themselves, Bernard will continue to grow up surrounded by love and acceptance.

Digging out the school foundation.

We were asked to think about the thing that we were most fearful of the first day that we were in the community and my honest answer was that I was fearful of the worksite and of my ability to give my all for 4 hours of manual labor for 3 days straight.  Ironically enough, the work site ended up being my absolute favorite part of the entire experience.  I joke when I say thank you to Orange Theory, but I honestly think that I was completely underestimating my physical abilities and was secretly super happy to surprise everyone, including myself, with my strength and endurance doing the hard work.  We performed a variety of tasks during our three days on the website, primary ones being the digging out of the foundation, making bricks, digging the latrines, moving supplies like water, stones, and dirt to make concrete among other things.  In comparison of the work I do on a daily basis, it was incredibly satisfying to see the products that result from your work right there in front of you.  Often times I wonder if what I do matters because you can't often see a simple "finished product", but with manual labor, it's obvious of whether you have succeeded at your job or not.  It's refreshing to not have to wonder.  I also loved having the ability to focus on a task and close my "thinking brain" off to everything else.  I now have a whole new appreciation for those that make a profession out of manual labor.

Just a portion of the bricks made during our time on the work site.

Representing Circle of Sisterhood in Senegal

Each day afternoon after the work site we would get to learn things about Senegal and the community during cultural workshops.  One day we got to learn how to make couscous, a second day we got to learn about the wrestling culture which is incredibly popular, and then the most impactful workshop for me was a 'Gender Talk' with women from the surrounding villages.  With our translators, we were able to ask questions back and forth of each other and learn more about how women live in both countries.  The hardest part about this for me was listening and not replying to some of the answers and conversations that we had.  People who know me well know that I like to challenge thought processes and enjoy asserting my opinion.  At one point, the question was asked of what would happen if the women chose not to do the "normal women's work", such as making their husband's lunch each day.  One woman replied that if her husband were to come home from working in the fields and lunch were not prepared, he would beat her.  She didn't make this statement to elicit sympathy from us, it was simply a matter of fact, how things are for her.  It took everything I had to not speak up and say "don't you know that's not okay?!" But in reality, if I were to tell her that his behavior was not okay, her starting from that point would only bring more challenges for her and her family.  Given the lack of education, women are not taught the skills to become independent from their husbands and earn an income to support themselves and their family.  That's why the cycle has to begin with education, not intervention.  Female empowerment and independence is a hugely important value for me, but sometimes getting to that point requires being able to see things from a different perspective.  The more educational opportunities that women can have, the more likely they are to be able to make decisions that are healthier in the long-run and as frustrating as that may be sometimes, it's the most effective and efficient way.

My roommates, Katie and Sadio, and I rocking our attire!

Our last day in Senegal our cultural workshop served as our Closing Ceremony - the time that we came together with our families and celebrated the last several days that we spent together.  We were informed in the morning that we would have a "surprise" from our families which ended out being that our families got to dress us in traditional Senegalese attire.  I have never seen women so excited (outside of maybe Panhellenic Bid Day).  The moment we stepped back into our family's compound, our host mom and sisters were swarming us giving us clothes, jewelry, and various other accessories, including their version of lingerie. So earlier when I said they literally gave us the clothes off their backs, this is that time.  I loved just how excited they were to share such an important part of their culture with us.  From the moment we landed in Senegal, I was in love with all of the bright colors and incredible fabric that the women wore on a daily basis.  I have so much respect for how much care they put into their daily dress - don't think I could manage it on a daily basis, but so thankful to have had the opportunity to do it for an afternoon!

Another frequent question I've gotten is "how was the food"?  Really, the food was incredible.  Definitely better than what we had in Malawi (thank goodness they don't eat Nsima in Senegal!) Community residents typically eat a vegetarian diet, so other than some eggs that were a part of some meals, we didn't get a whole lot of protein, but I honestly loved everything that we had.  I am incredibly grateful to our chef who worked tirelessly to make sure that we had three incredible meals a day!

A big staple of our meals was a rice, pasta, or potatoes, but what made each meal so interested was the vegetables, spices, and "flair" that were added to each meal.  We also had a mint tea that was served after lunch each day and I absolutely fell in love with it.  I've never been a big tea person, but I looked forward to that tea every day!



Here are a few of the big, important lessons that I am taking with me from this experience:

Inclusion and Nonjudgemental Acceptance
From the moment we stepped foot into the community of Mboyene, we were accepted wholeheartedly and without any conditions.  It continues to baffle me at how our families completely opened up their homes to us and literally gave us the clothes off their backs without knowing us or being able to communicate with us, yet here in America, we are building literal and figurative walls to keep people who are different from us out.  Majority of the residents were either Muslim or Christian, yet they made it a point to inform us that members of both religions lived in harmony, sometimes families having both religious ideologies living in the same communal space.  I did get into one political discussion with one of the buildOn staff members that is from Senegal and I admit that I did feel ashamed when they asked me why America was making some of the decisions that it is currently making.  I can't answer that question - I ask it daily myself.  But what I do know is the love and openness that I experienced in Senegal, I can't say that they would experience that same feeling should those same family members come here.  I sincerely hope I am wrong about that.

The fact that we didn't have mirrors, showers, or makeup the entire week was incredibly freeing.  I
stopped spending so much time worrying about what I looked like and how my appearance was being perceived by others.  It was refreshing to see how the women of Mboyene simply accepted themselves and each other for how they are and didn't place expectations on what someone should look like.  Dancing was a huge part of how they spent time together and celebrated together.  It took some time for us as Trek members to realize that we all look silly dancing - and that's what makes it fun!  Once we were able to get past our own self-consciousness and simply let loose, that made celebrating with the women so much better.  Being more accepting of ourselves and each other is a life lesson that I wish everyone would have the opportunity to learn.

Patience and Living in the Moment
My every day life consistently depends on the clock and that clock tells me what time that something should be happening.  In America, we live and die by our agendas, planners, and schedules.  I get incredibly irritated when things don't happen on time or when things take longer than I perceive that they should.  That concept simply did not exist in Myobene.  We would have a start time of 4:00pm for a cultural workshop and all of us would be there on time and ready to go, but then the actual event wouldn't begin until 5:30pm.  At first, it was maddening.  In one particular instance, I had stopped playing a board game with my host sisters because we were supposed to be somewhere and when that event didn't start until an hour and a half later, I just kept thinking about how had I known, I would have stayed and finished that game.  But as the week progressed and I became more accustomed to the flexibility in time, I realized just how freeing not feeling restricted to a timeframe can be.  Things started when they were ready to start.  Nothing felt forced or rushed or had to be cut off before it had reached it's natural ending point.  If people came after something had started, there was no shame put on them for "being late."  If people were waiting on something to begin, they took that time as an opportunity to socialize, to dance, to simply be with each other.  Just imagine how much more we may feel connected to each other if we didn't feel this constant need to be busy and be doing something all the time.

All the women on the work site.

Gratefulness
Over the past couple of months, I've been trying a simple daily journal of writing down three things that I'm grateful or thankful for and to be completely honest, there were days that I struggled to think of three things.  This trek reminded me of simply just how much I take for granted every single day.  Things like air conditioning when we couldn't sleep at night because we were so hot and sweaty, paved roads and sidewalks to walk on so that my shoes aren't full of sand each evening, my access to education (which looking back now realize just how much I took being able to get high school, undergraduate, and graduate degrees as easily as I did for granted) so that I can have not only a job, but a career that allows me to support myself and a paycheck that pays for more than simply rent and food, but also allows me to have outside interests, travel, and enjoy time with friends and family.  This type of perspective is something that I hope to continue to remind myself of daily.

The Power of Women
I have always believed in the power of women, but it's opportunities like these when you actually get to see strong, intelligent, compassionate, and empowered women come together that you realize just how vital women are to the success of our world.  I am incredibly grateful for the 12 students from UT that trusted me enough to travel across the globe and enter into an environment where we were torn away from every single comfort zone we have ever known.  It is through these challenges and stepping outside our daily lives that we are able to grow and learn.  It is our responsibility to bring those lessons back to our own community and share with them these lessons.  It is our duty to continue to be an active part of our communities and work with others to make this world a better place for every single person living in it, regardless of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, political affiliation, etc.  I am so incredibly thankful for the opportunity that I had to get to know these women during our time in Senegal as each of them is truly a special individual and brings so many strengths with her.

Frankie, Abby, and Sadio with Flat Betsy.

There were some other special people on this trek with us, our buildOn support staff Frankie and our two translators, Abby and Sadio.  I seriously want to grow up to be just like Abby.  The challenges that she has overcome from growing up in a rural community in Senegal to moving to the city to go to college, learning fluent English, and then getting a job with buildOn working to provide educational access all across the country of Senegal is truly inspiring.  Add to that her spunkiness, her sarcastic humor, and her "take no shit" attitude make her feel like she is my twin sister, just born in completely different families and cultures.  All week Abby was obsessed with my Senegalese name, "Khemmes" (sounds like Hummus) and it just became a huge joke amongst all of us to constantly just say my name.  The most emotional I got while on this trip was when these three dropped us off at the airport and Abby said goodbye to me, teared up, and then immediately got back on the bus so that no one would see her cry.  I definitely did. (I also really hope Abby reads this and also that she sends me the pictures we took of the to of us on her phone!!)

True depiction of how Daniela and I looked every day.

I have come to believe that some people come into your life for a reason, and all of these women will always hold a special plate in my heart.  There is one special person though that I now know will forever have an impact on me.  Two years ago when we took our first trek to Malawi, Daniela was assigned as our Trek Coordinator.  We immediately bonded and it made me sad to think that I would probably never see her again after that trip.  Fast forward to a week before we were supposed to leave for Senegal and we were on the pre-trek call with another buildOn staff member.  When we signed up for a second trek, the first thing I did was ask if we could be assigned Daniela again.  I was told probably not because buildOn had reorganized how their staff assignments were structured and Daniela was now permanently living in Nicaragua and leading only those treks.  As fate would have it, right before our trek began, things shifted and we were told that Daniela would once again be our Trek Leader.  This week would not have been as special for me had Daniela not been there.  Her ability to love unconditionally, to instantly put people at ease, to recognize the good in every single person reminds me of how much good there is in the world.  Daniela, be warned that you are now a part of my tribe and I'm not really an easy person to get rid of.  Love you endlessly sister.

While I can never 100% relay what this experience was like, hopefully this blog provides some insight and can serve as a reminder of why the education and empowerment of women, forcing ourselves out of our comfort bubbles, and learning to live with and appreciate people that may be a little different from us are all such powerful things.  While I never imagined that I would be able to say that twice in my lifetime I've been to Africa, I also sincerely hope this is was not the last time.